Suffer or Seek
One person openly weeps as the familiar “bing” echoes out of their speakers as email arrives in their inbox; an email containing yet another project that is overdue.
Someone else complains to their bartender at their local watering hole about their spouse How she doesn’t give the attention she used to and is always angry with him.
One person sits silently, as they contemplate why they can’t connect with her estranged sister. She stews in her pain, as she yearns to make-up with her. She’s desperate to connect, but doesn’t think she can find an olive branch long enough to cross the emotional divide.
Most of us can identify with the three people above in some way. We’ve all suffered through similar problems: we’ve stewed, become depressed, and, possibly, let them envelop us in their black holes of doubt, regret, and losses opportunities.
Here’s the tough love, the velvet steel, and the medicine each of us doesn’t want to hear or take: We made a choice.
We chose to suffer.
You see, those three people could have made a different choice. They could have acknowledged “the suck” of those situations and still made taken a better action that suffering.
When that email popped into her inbox with yet another deadline she might miss, she could have called her boss, explained why she needed some help and found a better solution that would have alleviated her suffering. She could have reached out to a coworker and asked for assistance. She could have mapped out her to-do’s and come up with a strategy to accomplish her tasks as soon as possible.
Instead of complaining to the all-knowing bartender, the husband could have picked up some flowers, lit some candles, picked up some wine and given his wife a spa night. He could have - and this is shocking - TALKED to her about his perception and they could have worked it out. He could have made the bold choice to talk to a therapist and figure out what he’s doing that might be making this problem appear bigger than it really is.
And, finally, the estranged sister could have picked up the phone, dialed her lost sibling’s number, and simply said, “I’m sorry...,” or, “I miss you..., or, “Let’s fix this.”
Now, any or all of the solutions above might have worked, or could be utter failures. However, the difference is that these individuals made a different choice; they took action.
They chose to seek rather than to suffer.
They actively chose to seek solutions rather than to suffer through the “manure” of life.
When you choose to suffer, you are choosing to tap out of life. You tap back in when you make the choice to seek solutions.
And, we all like to wallow now and then - it’s normal, venting is healthy, and that’s okay! But here’s the trick: Take 5. Set at timer. Take 5 minutes to feel your pain, argue with the unfairness of the world, and shake your fist at the heavens. When the timer goes off, you’re done. That’s it. You’ve allowed yourself to embrace the anger, frustration and suffering. Now, choose to seek solutions.
Suffer or seek? The choice is yours.
Make a different choice.
Tap back in.
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